Reflection Narrative

I found this peer review to be rather effective because with this paper its all about whether or not the message is clear.Tyler gave me some good advice as to how i should be more descriptive and improve my story. He also received the message but thought it would have been better if i ended more on a story rather than a reflection. I changed the stories so that they were more concise as well as being descriptive. I found the in class learning about taking a sentence and making it concise very important because there was huge long stories that didn't need to be that long. I did find this paper the hardest because i am not good at talking about myself and even more so relating it to a larger point about life.

As you sit down to eat dinner (whatever that is) take note of the experience. Later,write for 10 minutes describing it with as much detail as possible. Include details from all the senses: how does it smell, feel, and taste. What does the place around you sound like? Who all is there? Again, give as many details a


At about 615, I arrived at the commons with my friend Matt Mcdyer. Our sights were set on the buffet as long as the line wasn't long, but before we could arrive there we ran into six friends of ours. Meeting the the first weeks of school we had an immediate connection with these new people because four of the six were from upper saint Claire  which is a high school neighboring ours, so naturally we had something in common. As we began to chat i scanned the menu, seeing as how there was turkey bbq sandwiches, corn, and roast beef, I knew there was enough that i would eat and therefore would actually eat there. We had the usual conversation about their undefeated record in basketball thus far, me and Matt not being on the team because we do our own thing but none the less we still enjoy eating in company. Split up by the large group I took my place in line and the smell of all the different meats was overwhelming as the loudness and excessive heat of the building took over allll my senses. Cutting the line I grabbed the last of the Roast beef and then grabbed some corn as well as a Turkey BBQ sandwich. We all then proceeded to a table that would accomadate out entire crew, me and Matt were split up which was kind of lame seeing as how dinner is usual time to catch up on the day but still I was ready to chat with the others. Harris and his girlfriend keep a conversation with me because i have take the mega bus many times and I was able to instruct them on what time to leave to go to the bus and what to do once they arrive home. The kid across me i have never met and apparently he was one of our friends fall roommate. The Pirates had just started and seeing as how we are all from Pittsburgh, we all watched as we ate and chatted. I informed others my adventure on Saturday and after some laughter we talked about concerts. No one else wanted seconds, so i went to grab ice cream alone. After grabbing ice cream myself, me and Matt had called it quits and decided to go off on our own... possible

Narrative Reading Responses

1) Write a bit about how these essays differ from the writing you are used to writing/reading. How do they use a different structure, tone, techniques, etc?

2) Take one of the essays and write a few sentences about the purpose and audience for the essay. What are they and how do you know?

1. One of the biggest differences I noticed right out the gate is that it doesn't really follow the typical format that I'm used to. Like in your essay you just start dialogue and say a few things then jump back to writing. As well as the ending, its not a summary at all, but rather just a statement about yourself and then it's over. Just like in the video game narrative, the tone seems to be rather sad and involves a lot of using what others have said to the writer and then their thoughts on such words. The use of questions and metaphors in the Paths changing essay seemed to drive home their point about their life as being a race.With these narratives it is more like a rant about yourself that reflects on a larger point rather than the typical papers i write that involve just analyzing something or arguing something. In essence you are analyzing yourself in these narrative to drive at a point about life form your view.

2. The gaming essay was defiantly catered to those who chose to escape reality through the use of video games. That means people like teens, and young adults who face the most difficulty as they try and start the rest of their life and instead of facing the challenges that come with that transition, they look for relief in video games. The video gamers that begin to spend hours online and ignore friends and responsibility are the ones are who are in danger of losing everything. Just as Mike had experienced, he lost his girlfriend and job in order to create his own reality in video games. The purpose being there is nothing better in technology like video games that can compare to real life, and those who chose to escape reality to fulfill what desires they have, are squandering the chance at a real happy life.

"Vanity, they Name is Metrosexual"

1) How does the author define Metrosexual? How does the author relate the term to a larger argument?

2) What is at stake in the definition of the term? How does the author make this clear?

3) Note one other means of persuasion that you found particularly effective in the article. What about the audience does this means rely on.

1. The author defines metrosexual as a straight man who enjoys such things as shopping and clothes, and falls into the sterotypical catagory of a gay man expect in sexual orientation.She uses this defintion to relate it to the larger argument of how it as become icresingly diffcult to date because it has become hard to distinguish between gay and straight men.

2.What is at stake in terms of the definition of metrosexual is the sterotypes our society is putting on this new term. She uses examples of the stereotype to make her point clear and she uses other examples to prove how this is true.

3. In order to persuade the reader, she uses extremes, some humor, and some personal experiences that allows therreader to get a better sense of her argument. It relies on the audience to feel a connection with the reader and reognize how wrong it is to follow stereotypes.

New Proposal

I want to do viloation of Copyrights....
downloading of free music,videos, and games is illegal
-------loss of profits
-------loss of incentives
-------greater need for reguation

Topic Proposal

The word I would like to explore and define is Privacy

Peer-Paper Relections

sorry i thought this posted already but i saw it didint
After you finish your final draft write ~250 words reflecting on the peer review. What was helpful about it and what was not. Did you get some good feedback? What did you apply to your paper (try to be specific). Do you feel like you have a better sense of what to look for when reading other and your own writing?
I thought what was helpful was the entire exposing your paper to someone else and accpeting criticism.Usually the only person i have to worry about reading my paper is my teacher or parent so it's not bad, but when it's a peer it becomes more like the audience reading it, so I found it useful. I recieved some good feedback in terms of sentences that seemed weird or spots in my paper where it seemed my point wasn't clear so that was helpful. Both people said that my conclusion was too broad and that one paragraph had a quote that seemed just thrown in so I chnaged that, as well as some awkward reading sentences. I also liked that by forcing us to read and edit another peer's thoroughly it helped me to understand that by knowing what to look for in someone else's paper, i realized what I needed to look for in my paper. Oh and the teacher notes really helped to know where i lost track of my point.

Topic Paper 2

I'm choosing "Organs for Sale" by Sally Satel

Drexler/Smalley Response

• What is the main point of contention between Drexler and Smalley?
• What is at stake in their argument?
• Name a few strategies they use to refute the other side.
• How does both Smalley and Drexler develop their ethos (provide an example)
• Point to at least one logical fallacy used on both sides and explain why it is fallacy (see GRs pg 17-19)
• Which side to do you think was more convincing and why?

1. The main point that is contented between Drexler and Smalley is whether or not nano technology could be something that will be inevitable in the future. No matter how far the argument goes that is the core of the argument.
2. What is at stake is their ethos. Smalley has been called out essentially by Drexler and therefore has to prove his credibility.
3. The first strategy was the public letters sent between the two. Then using the letters as ethos boosters they both stated what backgrounds they have with big name drops. Finally Smalley using the attack made by Drexler to look like the better man by apologizing and agreeing with him.
4. Smalley's- "This proposal has been defended successfully again and again, in journal articles, in my MIT doctoral thesis [the basis of "Nanosystems: Molecular Machinery, Manufacturing, and Computation," John Wiley & Sons (1992)]. " MIT name drop
5. Drexler's "RICHARD E. SMALLEY is the Gene and Norman Hackerman Professor of Chemistry and Physics at Rice University. He received the 1996 Nobel Prize in Chemistry for the discovery of fullerenes"(Of Chemistry,Love and Nanobot)
6. The most obvious one was the one Smalley himself pointed out,"Your reliance on this straw-man attack might lead a thoughtful observer to suspect that no one has identified a valid criticism of my work"(Nano technology). I know its a fallacy because straw man means it sets up the opposing argument in a way that is easy to reject.
7. I think Drexler is because to me he seems he has been doing research on the nano tech for a long and great deal. Smalley just seems to just critique and play the nice guy as well which I don't trust.

Part 2

 Context 

1. The speaker was Barbara Jordan
2. Jackson's purpose was to convince the Judiciary Committee to impeach President Nixon. He mentions his opinions at the time Nixon was under investigation for the Water Gate Scandal.
3. Jackson makes it clear that the speech was not just a one and one speech but rather a speech to be televised to the entire nation.
   
   
4. Jackson informs us that Nixon is republican while most of the Senate was Democrat.
5. The audience was the House Judiciary Committee  

Text

1. Ethos - Faith in the Constitution was misused from Nixon in order to defend himself from breaking the rules
2. Pathos -Jackson used the paper shredder to show that what Nixon did was wrong and unjust to the Constitution
3. Logos - The only logic i noticed was that Jackson used citations including quoting people but im still shaky on logos so please help

My Context

1. Barbara Jordan seems to have know quite a bit about the constitution which makes her more a threat to Nixon.

My Text 

1.  The style of Jackson's writing  formal while keeping personal touches to express his feeling on the topic.

First Post

I'm am choosing Buying into the Green Movement